fatamorgana, seketika cuma dan hanya ilusi.

Wednesday, May 30, 2018


when you learned to accept things preordained for you.
your heart will ease.
your foots are ready to depart.
knowing that by hook or by crook, it is your scheme of life.
that was already written even before were born.
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Friday, May 25, 2018

in life. at some point somehow we will be really tested at our weakest point.
thus, instead of ask allah to get rid all our obstacles, let we pray for allah make us strong and wholeheartedly accepting.

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Tuesday, May 1, 2018


the windows curtain is slowly opened,
allowing the rays of sunlight touching the coldness of the hotel room,
the drizzle disperse the sunrays lightly
it is warm on the skin, but yet cold inside.
the last night cup of coffee is still there on the side table, its surface is solidly rigid.
and the breath sound break the silence,
awaken the dying soul from deep inside.

it's cold outside.
it's cold inside.

it's ok for you to cry sometimes.
It's ok to feel totally hopeless
it's ok to be sunken in grief sometimes.
when everything seems against you.
but let the sorrow stay there only just for a while.

then, when time comes.
the loosened strength must be build up again.
the scattered beliefs must be gathered again.
the blurry path must be mended again.

Life is what we perceived
if only bitterness we see.
then we will be blinded to realize other blessings.
if we keep calculating what we don't have.
then we are loosing every single other thing.

the short journey has ended.
the bed sheet is neatly put.
the pen ink is already finished.
the note reach the last word.
the hotel room door is shut tightly.
and the step is drgged slowly.

what we have right now is what it is.
accepting it is the best way to cope.
let it the be blood that flows in you vein.
let it be the air you breath in.
let it be us and ourselves.
and be grateful and thankful

just because,
we are the destiny that we cannot anymore deny.

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Tuesday, March 27, 2018

wife [appreciation]

it's true as people said that our destiny is already preordained by Allah.
something we couldn't expect and couldn't much control.

and life goes on for each one of us.

it was June 26th 2017. 
i married a woman i barely knew before.
barely talked, or even met.
just sometimes, noticed she stepped out from her car at work.
just a glimpse,
and then, nothing much.

but yet, we tied the knot.
it just happened like the old chapter in a book just being flipped away,
and a new one opened.
and the chapter can be totally unexpected, and somehow thrill us the most.

8 month of marriage.
i couldn't ask Allah more.
yes i'm grateful married to the right woman.
accepting me as who i am.

my wife.
i cannot promise you wealth, nor guaranty you a primrose path along our journey.
but i'll give my all just to make you stay beside me.
in time of ease and difficulty.
i cannot promise not to disappoint you sometimes, in time of flaws and forgetfulness,
but i'll make sure your heart never shatter into pieces,
let it be just like the calm water surface,  wavy after being blew by the breeze

my wife.
the times will come,
when my skin will be wrapped with only wrinkles,
when my memories start to fade away day by day like mist of sprinkles,
when my eyes can only perceive  lights that shine so bright,
i hope Allah wont change our heart even the slightest.
may we still recognize each other while others wont. at least.

my wife.
our marriage is a lifelong commitment.
in time we hurt, let we bow low to earth,
pray to Allah so that hold our heart firm,
in time we lost, let be each other's guidance,
so that we keep reminiscing our promises,
and smile to our paved memories.

and to allah i ask.
even death do us apart on the earth,
let you be mywife in the heaven.


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Thursday, February 22, 2018



baru menelefon kenalan yang dalam kesulitan.
tapi nadanya bersahaja saja.menelan setiap ujian dan bersyukur dan penuh pengharapan pada Allah setelah peluh2 yang keluar dari sendinya.

aku berasa malu.

ramai yang mampu bersabar atas ujian.
namun tidak ramai yang mampu bersyukur atas ujian.

si isteri pernah kata di awal pernikahan.
kalau dipandang yang diatas, sampai bila2
kita hanya rasa serba kekurangan.
pandanglah yang dibawah, maka kita akan rasa lebih dari sekadar cukup.

layakkah kita mendakwa kita tidak cukup makan, walhal lunch kita rm10.
Sedangkan rm10 bagi sesetengah bekalan untuk seminggu.

layakkah kita mendakwa kita hanya menyewa, tiada rumah sendiri.
sedangkan ada yang berfkir mana mahu berteduh bila malam menjengah.

layakkah kita mendakwa tiada punya wang lebih untuk berbelanja baju baru, dengan badan tersarung baju bersih kemas digosok.
sedangkan ada yang hanya ada beberapa persalinan yang mungkin digilir gilir dgn yang lain.

layakkah kita mendakwa kereta kita biasa biasa saja.
sedangkan ada pesakit yang terpaksa berjalan 5km ke klinik semata-mata mendapatkan ubat. tercungap2.

facebook dan ig hanya menayangkan kita yang indah2.
hiasan dalaman rumah yang baru disusun.
#ootd paling versetail.
dinner di restoren terkemuka.
percutian keluarga di oversea.
dengan # alhamdulillah syukur

lantas kita merasa kitalah paling malang.
tidak diberi peluang merasa.
walhal di sebaliknya.
masih ada yg tidak tahu apa facebook .tidak kenal ig.
mereka lah yang hidup dengan seada saja.
tapi penuh dengan rasa kecukupan.
tidak kah merekalah yang lebih bahagia?

moga allah permudahkan tiap2 sendi hamba2nya yang hari2 demi hari meneruskan penghidupan.
moga ditunjukkan jalan2 bagi yang sudah buntu.
moga yang dikurniakan sedikit lebih dapat berkogsi sama rezeki.

Allah, betapa tidak bersyukurnya kebanyakan kita...

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